The thing I hate the most about myself
I have a lot of flaws physically. Skin blemishes, uneven skin tone, cellulites, scars, and my big mouth. I used to hate my mouth. Well, obviously because it’s big. No, I’d rather say it’s humongous haha. I was really insecure about it. People would often tease me with my mouth. There was even a point that I got really depressed about it.
Since high school, I would hear people calling me names. It is not a petty thing, is it? Especially that it started during my teenage years. Come on, we all know how it is during this stage. People around me would tease me here and there. I find it as an insult, actually. I would be offended when people would make fun of it.
I, then, would be envious of other girls’ pouty lips or those lips that look cute for duck face.
But then, as I grew older, I thought, why would I even hate it? God made me this way. Yes, my then-boyfriend (who’s my husband now) would tease me, too (he’s not really insulting me, it’s just his another way of showing affection) but he would assure me that I am beautiful (in his eyes haha) and that he loves me the way I am. I gradually learned how to love my big mouth. Now, I am even making fun of it and use it as a joke.
I used to call my sister “tabatina” from the word “taba” which means fat. That was just like my pet name to my dear baby sister. But when I became a mom, I decided to stop from calling her tabatina. I realized that it wouldn’t be nice if Olivia would hear people around her teasing or insulting each other. I do not want m daughter to learn the concept of fat shaming, body shaming or shaming in general. It is just wrong. Some people would think it is okay, but it is not. Whether the intention is to harm or not, it is just wrong. All kinds of wrong.
I do not want my child to see a person differently, the way most of the society does. I want her to grow up with the mindset that each and every single person is made beautifully and unique. I do not want her to be superficial. I need her to learn that God sees through the heart.
I must say, we shall all learn how to love ourselves. For all we know, the thing we hate about ourselves would be the same thing you would love the most eventually. Like, seriously, I find my mouth now as an asset. It’s like I wouldn’t be Mommy Diaries/Ciara without it.
You? What do you hate most about yourself? Your freckles? Your legs? Your eyebrows? Your ears? Whatever it is, I am sure that it compliments and complements you. You are beautiful inside and out. And the day that you stop hating yourself, would be the same day that you’ll start living more happily and confidently 🙂